Δεν είμαι τέλεια
by SilverViridian
Summary: Drew seeks to change herself. Making her own image, not the Barbie doll the world sees her as. She isn't perfect. No one is. But this is as close as things can get. Songfic, oneshot, AU. T out of paranoia.


**I wrote a story about Drew. Again. But Drew has always been inspirational, and I've always pictured her as having a rough life. And I know that I haven't updated or posted in a while, but I can almost guarantee one one-shot or chapter a month. Sorry if that's too little, but I try. It's hard to juggle ****school, homework, friends, family, fanfiction, and everything else, but I try. I really do. ****To anyone who cared to read this, put the word taco somewhere in your review. It would really make my day.**

**Everyone has a story on the inside. Drew is no exception.**

**I don't own Rick Riordan's books.**

* * *

"_I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure.  
__I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle.  
__But if you can't handle me at my worst,  
__Then you _sure as hell_ don't deserve me at my best."_

_ -Marilyn Monroe_

* * *

_Today I washed my makeup away _

_So the mirror could see my face_

* * *

Drew stared at herself in the mirror. Tiny bits of conversation with her father swirled through her mind. He wouldn't have wanted this. Feeling self-conscious, she scrubbed every last bit of makeup from her face.

* * *

_I wanted all my pain to portray _

_What my words could not say_

* * *

She crumpled to her knees. She buried her face in her hands. This was for the good of her father, on his death anniversary. She could do this for her father.

* * *

_Cause I'll never be good enough_

_They see my tears and call my bluff_

* * *

She held her head high, and ignoring the whispers, walked out of her cabin. People snickered and pointed at the tears in her eyes. Calling her out. Some particularly bold ones yelling at how stupid she was. God, she was an idiot. A tear ran down her cheek, yet she held her head high. Too proud to back down. Her father would've been proud.

* * *

_Got to tough it out and suck it up to stay, to stay_

_Keep on running to the top, no time to breathe, no time to stop_

_But I..._

* * *

She sucked up her breath and walked to the pavilion. Piper snickered at her. "  
I _love _your look, Drew. It's… new." The rest of her cabin snickered. Tears ran down her cheeks, but she forged on, and her cabin was shocked to see she wasn't wearing any makeup.

* * *

_Got to shut the world out and breakdown _

_So I can see what's left of me_

* * *

Whispers, calls, and gossip raided her day. She shut it all out, but on the inside, she was broken. She was a mental wasteland, and on the outside, the tears flowed freely.

* * *

_Time for me to be alone_

_Where I feel home and _

_Remember what I believe_

* * *

She was alone. And she embraced it. Remembering her father and breaking down and – she needed to feel her father's love, inside and out. Remember that the only reason he died was to protect her. His last request from his hospital bed.

* * *

_I just want to cry out loud_

_Cause it's the only sound that will truly set me free_

* * *

She sank into a corner of the amphitheater. Putting her arms over her face. An Ares camper rounded on her. Started cursing her. Rough, breaking taunts that dug into her skin. She closed her eyes and sobbed silently.

* * *

_I'm standing still to say to you, I'm not perfect_

_Just thought you should know_

* * *

"Promise me you will always remember what is important." Jerry Tanaka's brown eyes bore hard into Drew's. "Why we are all here on this earth right now. Just promise me you'll love the world, no matter what they say bout you." Drew nodded. "Daddy, I promise."

* * *

_So hard I can't find my way _

_And I'm tired of all this rain_

* * *

A bucket of water splashed over her head. "What, no makeup today?" a Hermes boy taunted her. Her eyes filled with unshed tears as she ran deeper into the wood, deeper than she knew. "In silvam." Her lips mouthed the words as she remembered the Latin her father had loved, cherished perhaps.

* * *

_I'm damaged and so ashamed, only half my soul remains_

* * *

She shook like a leaf. She piled food onto her plate, but pushed all of it into the fire. She went to her cabin and fell asleep on her bed.

* * *

_Cause I'll never be pretty enough_

_They see my tears and call my bluff_

_Got to tough it out and suck it up to stay, to stay_

_Keep on running to the top, no time to breathe, no time to stop_

_But I..._

* * *

When she came to, she neglected to see what she had not seen before. A picture of her father lay rumpled and torn on her bed. Her favorite one of him. A note lay next to it.

_Doesn't feel so good when it's you, does it?  
How do you feel now that I've torn down this picture?  
Who is this guy, anyway?  
If I were him, I wouldn't be smiling at you._

Drew broke down crying.

* * *

_Got to shut the world out and breakdown so I can see what's left of me_

_Time for me to be alone, where I feel home and remember what I believe_

_I just want to cry out loud, 'cause it's the only sound that will truly set me free_

_I'm standing still to say to you I'm not perfect_

* * *

She repaired the picture the best she could. She clumsily repaired it with scotch tape and Elmer's glue and taped it back to the wall. She pressed her lips together. She had a pretty good idea who sent the note, but decided to give her the benefit of the doubt.

* * *

_Ooh, I'm so afraid, so afraid_

_Of change, change_

_And ooh, I know it's the only way_

* * *

Drew had changed. And she was going to stay that way. She ripped down the posters of shirtless celebrities and kissing tweens on her wall. She put light blue and brown curtains around her bed. The only pictures on her wall were of her father and her, sketches she'd done, and poems she'd written. She replaced the clothes in her dresser with regular clothes the Hermes or Athena cabins might wear. Replaced the high heels with sneakers. Her father would've been proud.

* * *

_Got to shut the world out and breakdown so I can see what's left of me_

_Time for me to be alone, where I feel home and remember what I believe_

_I just want to cry out loud 'cause it's the only sound that will truly set me free_

_I'm standing still to say to you I'm not perfect_

_Just thought you should know_


End file.
